By Olha Barabash. Updated September 23, 2026
How to include a tea ceremony in a Western wedding day
A tea ceremony fits a Western wedding day in one of three places: in the morning, at home or in a suite, before the Western ceremony; at the venue during cocktail hour, in a private room; or on a separate day. A Chinese tea ceremony usually comes first, in the morning. A Korean paebaek usually follows the Western ceremony. Either way it needs its own room, time for attire changes and a written order of who is served or greeted.
Choosing where it sits in the day
- In the morning, before the ceremony
The traditional choice for a Chinese tea ceremony, often at the family home or in a hotel suite. It gives the elders time and privacy, and leaves the afternoon free. It means an early start and a change of attire before the Western ceremony.
- At the venue, during cocktail hour
Common for a Korean paebaek and increasingly for a tea ceremony. The families slip into a private room while guests have drinks. It needs a second room set in advance and a firm hand on the timing, so dinner is not delayed.
- On another day
Some families hold the tea ceremony the day before, at home, as part of a wedding weekend. It is the calmest option, and the least seen by guests.
A Chinese tea ceremony, briefly
The couple serve tea to their parents, grandparents and elder relatives, usually kneeling or bowing, in order of seniority. The elders drink, offer their blessings and give gifts, often red envelopes or gold jewelry. Families differ on whose side is served first and on many details, so we ask the parents rather than assume. Read more on Chinese weddings.
A Korean paebaek, briefly
The couple, in hanbok, bow deeply to their parents and elders, who offer advice and blessings. At the end, the parents throw dates and chestnuts, and the couple try to catch them in the bride’s skirt. It usually takes thirty to forty-five minutes. Traditionally it was the groom’s family; today many families include both. Read more on Korean weddings.
The room
A tea ceremony or paebaek needs a room of its own: quiet, warm, well lit for photographs, with chairs or cushions for the elders, a table for the tea set or the paebaek table, and a backdrop. We set it hours ahead, so it is ready whenever the timeline arrives.
Attire changes
A qipao or qun kwa for the tea ceremony, hanbok for the paebaek, a Western gown for the ceremony: each change needs a room, a dresser and twenty to thirty minutes. We build every change into the timeline, never at the guests’ expense.
Who takes part, and in what order
We write the order of greetings with the parents weeks in advance: every relative, in order, with who pours and who presents gifts. On the day, someone who knows the order guides the couple, so no one is missed and the elders are never kept standing.
An example day
- 9:00 amHair and makeup.
- 10:30 amThe Chinese tea ceremony in a suite, with both families.
- 12:00 pmLunch, rest, and the change into the wedding dress.
- 4:30 pmThe Western ceremony.
- 5:00 pmCocktail hour for guests. For a Korean family, the paebaek in a private room.
- 7:00 pmDinner, with a change into a qipao or evening dress before the toasts.
Questions couples ask
How long does a tea ceremony take?
Usually thirty minutes to an hour, depending on how many relatives are served.
Do guests attend the tea ceremony?
Usually only family and close friends. Some families invite everyone and hold it as part of the reception.
Can we hold a tea ceremony and a paebaek on the same day?
Yes, when both families’ traditions call for it. We plan both into the timeline with the families.
Have you planned tea ceremonies before?
Yes. We have planned traditional tea ceremonies at Blue Hill at Stone Barns and at 74 Wythe, and planned the paebaek into a New York wedding.
Tell us about both families, and both ceremonies.
Tell us about your wedding, and we will take it from there.